Game of Thrones S5 E6 Recap: Cersei On Ice

(Photo Courtesy of Vulture)

Three “television enthusiasts,” the dynamic brother-sister duo of Marci and Rusty Buehler and Zac Hirschbeck, watch Game of Thrones each Sunday night and exchange their thoughts on the show’s happenings.

Marci: Ugh, I literally just finished watching this week’s episode. Really disturbing scene at the end. As much as I think Sansa is generally not proactive, I think in this particular case she is pretty helpless in her plight – in certain ways. Like the violent scene that unfolded on her wedding night. It’s tough to watch and just makes me wish that the Boltons get their due – and very soon. I’m also hoping that Sansa is playing the long game here, and is waiting for the right moment to strike against Ramsay. It’s going to be so satisfying when they finally get slaughtered by someone (please, please, happen….soon).

Besides the disturbing ending, this episode was pretty interesting and although it didn’t include a lot of the story points I’ve been hoping for – can Jorah & Tyrion just GET TO MEEREEN, already?!? – It seems like they’re finally on the way now, courtesy of some slavers. And kudos to the slavers for delivering the best line of the episode: “The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant.” That was actually my senior yearbook quote, too.

We also had some serious development in our Lannister/Tyrell ladies of the house showdown. Cersei really is proving that she’s worthy of the spot I gave her on my power rankings, by effectively putting both Loras AND now Margaery behind bars…that’s right folks, the Queen! Behind bars! And again, little baby Tommen is too much of a puss to do anything about it. It’s frustrating to watch that play out, somehow I’m rooting for the Tyrells, even though the only one of them I really enjoy is the thorny grandma, and she’s free as a bird.

Jamie and Bronn finally made it into Dorne, and were about to get their asses handed to them by the Charlie’s Angels of Dorne, when they were interrupted. I look forward to see how that storyline progresses, as it seems like the man in charge in Dorne is on Jamie’s side. But will the princess even want to go home? Seems like she’s BLINDED BY LOVE!

And of course, we also got to see a lot more from our girl Arya and her weird storyline in the house of Black & White that I’m pretty bored with now. The big payoff is that they walked into a room of faces? THAT’S IT?!? That’s why she’s been sweeping the floor and cleaning up dead bodies for over the last 5 episodes?!? To enter a room full of faces? They probably have that many faces in the back rooms of Saturday Night Live – and if so, Arya would have been having so much more fun whilst viewing them.

What’d you guys think of this episode? Were you more excited than me about Arya Stark and the Chamber of Faces? And what do you make of the Tyrell debacle?

 

Rusty: Marci, I am with you regarding the reveal of the world’s oldest prop closet in the House of Black and White. When Arya was touching the old lady face, I was expecting it to twitch or do, I dunno, SOMETHING COOL. Also, what is the lesson that they are trying to teach Arya? To lie? Wasn’t she lying to that sick little girl the whole time? I also thought it was interesting that Arya got pegged as a liar when she said that she hated The Hound. I miss The Hound!

I thought last night’s episode was ok. All of the Dorne stuff felt way too formulaic for me. What are the odds that Bronn/Jamie and the Sand Snakes show up at the same time? Also, this TV show is just teaching me that adolescent girls make the silliest choices. If your uncle shows up in Dorne and tells you to peace out, you peace out! Leave young Antonio Banderas behind and hop a boat to Westeros. Her reticence reminded me of season one Sansa.

But look at Sansa now! I don’t think we’ve hit peak crazy/creepiness with that story yet, so get ready Marci. I bet it will take Stannis at least one more episode to clip clop down to Winterfell. Also, did I interpret the Baelish/Cersei scene to mean that there could be a third army fighting for Winterfell?

Cersei also had my best bitch tactic so far of the season by pretending to write in order to ice out Grandma Martell. That is the equivalent of ‘getting a text’ in the middle of a conversation and I LOVED IT! I’m rooting for the Tyrells though. Anyone who can refer to ‘golden wheat’ unironically gets my vote.

What about you Zac?

 

Zac: Although I really try to avoid any internet conjecture regarding the happenings in Westeros out of fear of stumbling upon spoilers, from what I gathered, Sansa’s rape last night was not a part of the books. With that in mind, I’d pose one simple question to the writers of our beloved Game of Thrones: WHY THE FUCK DO WE NEED FURTHER INCENTIVE TO KILL THE BOLTONS?

More than any other characters in the entire show’s history (even Joffrey), I’ve never wanted a character to die more than Ramsay Bolton. To me, last night was an unnecessary addition to George R.R. Martin already brutal source material. As Ramsay violated Sansa, there was nothing new that was added to what we already knew. Sansa continued to lead arguably the shittiest life of all the main characters still alive on this show. Ramsay remains the worst human being in Westeros. And Theon, despite “reclaiming his true name” this week, still refused to budge an inch from his brainwashed loyalty to his master.

As I’m sure you both did the same, I was truly hoping to see the former Stark ward snap and murder Ramsay in that bedroom. However, he merely continued to follow his orders. After that scene, it’s also difficult to continue being sympathetic to Theon. I’ll entirely acknowledge the horrors that he’s been put through, but how many dreadful Bolton actions does he have to witness before he actually attempts to reclaim some resemblance of his former life? All I can say is the payoff (being Roose and Ramsay’s deaths) better be worth this entire wait.

I think I was a little more interested than you both to see Arya’s storyline evolve to where it did this week. That isn’t all that surprising though considering that I geeked out pretty hard when Jaqen H’ghar re-entered the playing field earlier this season.

My interpretation of all those faces was that the faceless men and women use those faces during their travels across the Seven Kingdom. While I’m not sure if all of those dead people eventually become faceless assassins similar to Jaqen H’ghar, I thought that room was a pretty cool addition to the House of Black and White. I also got the impression that Jaqen didn’t believe Arya was yet cut out for a role among Braavos’ face-shifting crowd. At the end of their scene, he did mention helping her become something else though. I’ll remain curious to see what that something else might be.

As far as the conflict in King’s Landing, I found that to be pretty boring even in spite of the return of the badass Olenna Tyrell. To me, both the Lannisters and Tyrells are merely placeholders to whoever inevitably rises to the claim the Iron Throne. While the meeting between Cersei, who did her best impersonation of her deceased father, and Olenna was a great scene, I’m really not on the edge of my seat to see how their quibbles shake out.

Likewise, I was kind of bummed that Jaime and Bronn’s run-in with the Sand Snakes was given such little buildup and screen time. As Grantland’s Andy Greenwald mentioned in his weekly recap, their fight in Dorne seemed entirely rushed. Seeing as all of the characters involved in that skirmish are really likable and interesting members of the cast, I hope we see that storyline given a bit more attention in the weeks to come.

Lastly, I too share your hopes that Tyrion and Jorah’s run-in with the slave traders will finally push them towards Meereen with a bit more urgency. Also, as fellow fans of ABC’s Lost, how excited were you both to see Mr. Eko be the man threatening to cut off Tyrion’s junk?

What else did you guys take away from this week’s episode? With some notable characters absent this week, who did you miss? And how do the writers compensate next week for ending this week’s episode with something so terrible?

 

Marci: You’re right, Zac – there were some notable characters who were missing in this week’s episode. We didn’t get to check in with our boyz of the Night’s Watch, nor did we see Jon Snow set off on his journey to the Wildings. This is something I’m looking forward to for next week.

We also had a week off from the MOTHER OF DRAGONS. I found this quite refreshing, since her storyline has been annoying me lately. It does seem, however, that we will be getting our Tyrion / Dany meet up at long last – as soon as Mr. Eko can row his boat back to Meereen. The prospect of watching Jorah in the fighting pits is both exciting, and sad. I kind of like Jorah and I think if he’s actually thrown into the fighting pits, he probably won’t come out alive. But, that’s GoT, for ya.

We also didn’t get to check in with Stannis this week – that’s okay though, since he’s basically just playing the Westeros version of The Oregon Trail until he gets to Winterfell – I’m not so interested in his journey – but please show me what happens when he gets there!

I’m thinking that next week won’t end up being as satisfying as I hope – so far this season has been a slow, slow burn. And while I hope we see Stannis roll up to Winterfell and start kicking ass – my money is on next episode ending with him being ALMOST to Winterfell and Brienne trying to stop his progress. BRIENNE! MIND YOUR BUSINESS!

As far as compensating for this week’s squirm inducing last scene, I don’t think any compensation will actually be taking place! As we’ve seen time and time again in GoT, the world of Westeros is incredibly unfair, dangerous, and maddening. I mean, we would be crazy to think that anything else would have happened on Sansa’s wedding night with such a crazy lunatic. But having to see it unfold was definitely not a fun experience.

What are you guys looking forward to in next week’s episode? Do you think they’ll make it to Meereen? Will anybody die?! Will something cooler be revealed about the Chamber of Faces?!

 

Rusty: WHAT’S UP MR. EKO??? Zac, it was nice to see him on the small screen again. His character is not good at guessing ages. He think Jorah is a cool 60 years old, which is nuts in my head. My man Jorah looks like he’s maybe in his mid-50s. Related question… Why doesn’t Jorah just infect all of those slave traders with Greyscale? He’s basically a biochemical weapon that this point. I think the fighting pits will be Jorah’s last stand. Also…. Where is Varys? Is he still flying solo to Meereen?

My bold prediction for next week is that someone will die. It’s been too long of a stretch to have no one from Westeros eat it! My money is on one of the Sand Snakes, or Mama Sand Snake (whatever her name is). Antonio Banderas lives another week.

I also want us to meet a cock merchant. Maybe in season six.

 

Zac: Marci, you’re definitely right in saying that this season has been a slow, slow burn. Almost every episode has seemingly existed to set up an event or a conflict that will happen further down the line. If you look at nearly every character and nearly every different storyline, they are building toward something more meaningful. With only four more episodes left in this season (IT HAS FLOWN BY), it’ll be interesting to see which characters reach a sense of finality within their respective paths.

As we move closer to the conclusion of season five, continue to remember the amusing words that Bronn shared with Jaime this week.

“This song really is all about the ending.”

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: